Metropolis

THE MAJESTY OF THE LAW
A Metropolis Skit
By The Chief (Jason Rhode)
SANTA
Okay, Timmy, what do you want?
JIMMY
Jimmy, and I want a Pathfinder raygun and an XBox and Landwich and I want a TableSack Man and I want…
SANTA
Oh, Jimmy. I’m sorry. All you get is Down Syndrome.
JIMMY
But Santa, I don’t want Down Synndddoooaaaawwwwwoooo…..
SANTA
Ha, ha, ha, okay, Jimmy, [...]

BRUCE DANIEL WAYNEVIEW
Ladies and Gentlemen, I’ve traveled over half our multiverse to get here this evening.
I couldn’t get away sooner because Solomon Grundy came out of Slaughter Swamp and I had to see about it. That Mongoloid’s rich magic black blood is now flowing at two thousand barrels, now I turn it into the addictive [...]

(or: “You Bees Make Honey, But Not Just For Yourselves”: The Problem with Mark Millar)

Written laws are like spiders’ webs, and will like them only entangle and hold the poor and weak, while the rich and powerful will easily break through them.
– Anacharsis, to Solon, when the latter was writing laws for Athens

Always act [...]

It’s almost dusk now at the Saturday Morning Cartoon Characters’ Old Folks Home, formerly known as Camp Candy.
Nick “Wish Kid” McClary and Little Rosey are smoking on the front porch, flicking embers as Fat Albert dips his chaw and expounds on the Manichean heresy.
He’s eloquent from all his years of backalley wrangling. How many deaths [...]

No. There’s no way this could be everything I was hoping for.”
Yes.
Yes, precious.

It’s everything you were hoping for.

“Neville Quain: I know. I know I was the wrong man to lead a boy scout troop into the sewage system under Minneapolis, I know that now. But I think it’s safe to say I learned some very [...]