I saw the movie tongight with Jen, and we just barely got out of Madacasgar before they closed all the ports. I bought a copy of People on the way out and we discussed how unfortunate it was that people still care about Lindsay Lohan I chipped a tooth on a peanut, which was weird because I usually don’t eat peanuts. As we waited on it to start, we talked about Stanisaw Lew and his influence on TIlly and the Wall.

I had two girls with me, Chantelle, and Tina Blastcock. And in fact, as I watched all I could think about was how the mvoie was like the Decalogue had a baby with Galaxy High.

Then the key grip performed a masterpiece with electrical tape to actualize the mise-en-scene. That guy is such a ass-blasting fistjob.

In the hands of Tim Burton, this movie would have been a bit like a piece of shazbot.

But this is like dicking Van Gogh doing his “Starry Night.” It’s like John Gage if he did the soundtrack to Spaceballs. Its that good . . . . . . . . .

Look at the chiaroscuro. It’s fluffer. Its nothing if not like iambic pentameter on celluloid, or Quentin Tarantino on sizzurp.

When John said “Bitch, we’re out of peanut butter,” I wept like I did when I saw Jay & Silent Bob.

Howie Doodle performs magic and I cant look away. He makes his actors drown Asian grandmothers in ropes of mansauce . . . . again . . . . . . . and again . . . . . . and again. . . until they can’t order Ranch dressing ever again.

Remember in Crying Freeman when they frosted those cupcakes with penguin shit? Combine that with The Wrestler, but take out the deli scene, and there you’ll have this movie in its quiet moments.

Just like in Five Easy Pieces, or Heartbeeps, or Pablo Honey . . . . . . . . . . . the Grand Guignol is never muddled.

I hope Francis can top this with Ambush Bug . . . . that would connect with the audience like He’s Just Not That Into You.

Its not perfect . . . . . . .. it feels a bit rushed . . . . . . but its that familiarness with archaeology that makes me manage to say this is the bigger than Godzilla and twice as lucky with the ladies.